The Mother’s First Duties

Cleanliness, neatness, and order, are indispensable to the proper management of the household. But when the mother makes these the all-important duties of her life, and devotes herself to them, to the neglect of the physical development and the mental and moral training of her children, she makes a sad mistake. The Agriculturist speaks well upon this subject under the head of «Unprincipled Neatness.

«‘Cleanliness is next to godliness;’ but let us never forget that godliness is the first thing to be sought, and after that cleanliness to any extent. If anybody supposes that I mean that you are to ‘get converted’ in the ordinary sense of that phrase, and then go on scrubbing and scouring with all your might, without any application of Christianity to these wash-board and dish-pan affairs, that person has not made my acquaintance. The ‘fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,’ etc., and beyond all price; neatness is only a secondary matter.

«We are putting cleanliness above godliness if we brush and scour until our nerves are so wearied that good temper becomes almost a physical impossibility; or if we keep our friends in constant dread of making a speck of dirt upon our premises; or if we allow ourselves to be greatly put out by any disasters that happen to our carpets or tablecloths. It is hard to bear these things, if we have not abundant means and plenty of assistance; and I do not know of anything but a true philosophy believed in by the heart, as well as the intellect, that will help us through. Do we really desire to lead true lives, and to do our duty by our families? Then we must settle in our minds what are the essentials to this end, and resolutely make other matters subordinate.

«It is neatness without principle that insists upon clean aprons and polished faces for the children more than upon gentle words and patient sympathy with their plans and pleasures, which concerns itself more about flies and dust than about family health and happiness. Bright windows and spotless paint and well-scoured floors are excellent things in their way; but if you can only secure them by a loss of all time and relish for reading and out-of-door recreation, have the nobleness to bear with some dirt and rags, rather than sacrifice the life for meat or the body for raiment. For the sake of all about you, as well as for your own sake, save your nerves from over-strain, and your intellectual life from starvation. But never sacrifice cleanliness to display. Those children are fortunate who are kept supplied with whole and clean clothing; but none of these things can begin to compare in value with a wise mother’s love and care in respect to the formation of character and the development of a sound mind in a sound body. A husband has something to say ‘thank you’ for, whose buttons are never missing and whose dinner is always in good time and good order; but he deserves to miss the best gifts of this life who value these things above a wife’s companionship and inspiration in all things most lovely and of good report.»

I have seen a mother whose critical eye could discern anything imperfect in the matching of the wood-work of her house, and who was very particular to have her house-cleaning thoroughly done at the precise time she had set, and would carry it through frequently at the expense of physical and spiritual health, while her children were left to run in the street and obtain a street education. These children were growing up coarse, selfish, rude, and disobedient. The mother, although she had hired help, was so much engaged in household cares that she could not afford time to properly train her children. She let them come up with deformity of character, undisciplined, and untrained. We could but feel that the fine taste of the mother was not exercised in the right direction, or she would have seen the necessity of moulding the minds and manners of her children, and educating them to have symmetrical characters and lovely tempers.

If the mother had let these things which she has allowed to claim her first attention come in secondarily, she would have regarded the physical, mental, and moral training of her children of almost infinite importance. Those who take upon themselves the responsibility of mothers should feel under the most solemn obligation to God and to their children, to so educate them that they will have amiable and affectionate dispositions, and that they will be pure in morals, refined in taste, and lovely in character.

The mother loves her children. This is right. She cannot help it. But this love is frequently misapplied; for it leads her to indulge her children to their injury.

For years I have looked upon these children with feelings of sadness, sometimes repeating to myself these words: «That which ye sow, ye shall also reap.» These children have needed the influence of a calm, well-balanced mind. The mother’s time could not be more profitably spent than in seeking heavenly wisdom, and in studying how to train her children for God. If she would succeed she should have a firm trust in God, and that cheerful, hopeful mind and peaceful temper which flows from pure religious principles. Every effort made in this direction will repay her tenfold.

If mothers neglect to properly educate their children, their neglect is reflected back upon them again, making their burdens and perplexities harder than they would have been if they had devoted time and patient care in training their children to obedience and submission. It will pay in the end for mothers to make the formation of the characters of their children their first and highest consideration, that the thorns may not take root and yield an abundant harvest. God calls upon mothers to become co-workers with him in the formation of the character of their children, instead of wasting their time in needless labor to make display in their houses for the eyes of visitors, while their children are coming up with characters that are warped and deformed. They are not trained for usefulness, and their minds molded that they may have self-denial and self-control, having beautiful characters that angels can love. The inward adorning the ornament of a meek and quite spirit God values. In comparison with this, outward ornamentation is but little consequence.

Mothers have a sacred mission in directing and educating the minds of their children. They should not be so engrossed with the artificial and burdened with care that they cannot have time to educate their children from God’s great book of nature, impressing their young minds with the beauties of opening buds and flowers. The lofty trees, the lovely birds caroling forth their happy songs to their Creator, speak to their senses of the goodness, mercy, and benevolence of God. Every leaf and flower with their varied tints, perfuming the air, teach them that God is love. All that is good and lovely and beautiful in this world speaks to them of the love of our Heavenly Father. The character of God they may discern in his created works. Parents should improve every opportunity to impress their children by connecting in their minds God with the things of nature, that they may look up through nature to nature’s God. Lead your children to regard God as the Creator of all things, and to reverence and fear him who is exalted above the heavens, and to love him because he first loved them. The evidences of his love they have on every hand, speaking to them through the glories of nature. Your temporal matters may be neglected rather than the heart wants and culture of the minds of your children. E. G. White. —