Home Training

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Watch, pray, work. Watching, working, and waiting for the Lord: this is our proper position. We are to act as servants who strive faithfully to do the Master’s will. I am particularly burdened in reference to home training. The father is the house-band of the family. This is his position, and if he is a Christian, he will maintain right government in every respect. His authority is to be recognized, but in many families parental authority is never fully acknowledged. Various excuses are framed for the disobedience of children, and the life is a scene of endless variance between parents and children. Often the mother works to counteract the influence of the father, who, she thinks, is too severe, too exacting.

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If the father is a Christian, he represents the divine authority of God, whose vicegerent he is, and whose work it is to carry out the gracious designs of an infinite God in the establishment of upright principles and the foundation of pure, virtuous, well-balanced characters. But if the father and mother are at variance with each other, the condition of things in the home is demoralizing. Neither the father nor mother receives the respect and confidence essential to correct management. The mother leaves on the minds of the children the impression that she thinks the father too severe; for children are quick to see anything that casts the slightest reflection on rules or regulations, especially if they restrict them in carrying out their inclinations.

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Working in Unity I would that parents had sanctified intelligence, that they might see the necessity of working in unity. The husband, wife, and children are a firm. They should look upon themselves as God’s agents who are to work together intelligently, regarding the family as a divine institution. The parents are to instruct their children wisely, and patiently, teaching them line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. With faith and perseverance they are to educate, train, and discipline, requiring their children to be obedient, allowing no disrespect. Thus the seeds of reverence and respect for the heavenly Father are sown. The home should be a preparatory school, where children and youth may be fitted to do service for the Master, preparatory to joining the higher school in the kingdom of God.

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Parents need to remember that they occupy the place of God to their children. Just as you deal with your children, parents, so will God deal with you. Their lack of experience is to be supplied by wise precepts and godly practice. This work is to begin in their early years, when the heart is tender and impressible, and is to be carried forward step by step. Every word, every action, of the parents is to be an object lesson of the right kind. They should not act impulsively, but as though realizing that God sees them, that the heavenly universe witnesses every act when dealing with each other and with their children.

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Children are the Lord’s heritage, purchased by the blood of the only-begotten Son of God. With intense interest heavenly intelligences watch to see how children are dealt with by their parents, guardians, and teachers. And what strange management they witness at times, when father and mother disagree, and express their variance by words and actions.

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Sometimes the father casts reflections on the mother. He sternly disciplines the children, as if to disparage the mother’s tenderness and love. Because of this the mother thinks she must bestow on them increased affection, and gratify and indulge their inclinations. Thus she seeks to counteract the father’s impatience and severity; but oh, how God is dishonored. The family is demoralized, and the children are confused in regard to true discipline and correct education.

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Govern with Wisdom There is danger of too severely criticizing small things. Criticism that is too severe, rules that are too rigid, lead to the disregard of all regulations; and by and by children thus educated will show the same disrespect for the laws of Christ.

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Parents must be converted before they can guide their children aright. They must become submissive to the requirements of God before they can expect their children to submit to them. Then their words and even their thoughts will be brought into captivity to Jesus Christ. Day by day they must learn from Jesus, catching His Spirit, that they may reveal the Christlikeness in their lives. In childhood and youth the powers of imitation are strong, and children should have the most perfect pattern set before them, that they may have unquestionable confidence in the wisdom of their parents.

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Religion in the home—what will it not accomplish? It will do the very work that God designed should be done in every family. Children will be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They will be educated and trained, not to be society devotees, but members of the Lord’s family. They will not be sacrificed to Moloch. Parents will become willing subjects of Christ. Both father and mother will consecrate themselves to the work of properly training the children given them. They will firmly decide to work in the love of God with the utmost tenderness and compassion to save the souls under their guidance. They will not allow themselves to be absorbed with the customs of the world. They will not give themselves up to parties, concerts, dances, to give feasts and attend feasts, because after this manner do the Gentiles.

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Vigilance Eternal vigilance must be manifested with regard to our children. With his manifold devices Satan begins to work with their tempers and their wills as soon as they are born. Their safety depends upon the wisdom, and the vigilant care of the parents. They must strive in the love and fear of God to preoccupy the garden of the heart, sowing the good seeds of a right spirit, correct habits, and the love and fear of God.

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Obedience to parental authority must be inculcated in babyhood, childhood, and youth. The will of the parents must be under the discipline of Christ. Molded and controlled by God’s pure, Holy Spirit, they may establish unquestioned dominion over the children.

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Effects of Misrule But if the parents are severe and exacting in their discipline, they do a work which they themselves can never undo. By their arbitrary course of action they stir up a sense of injustice. Many parents have to meet in their children their own temper and disposition. But instead of ruling with wisdom and kindness, they are harsh and exacting. They do not make the religious life attractive, and the children say, «If this is religion, we want none of it.» Enmity against the rules of God is created. The rebellious spirit which refused to render obedience to parental authority is the last to yield to divine authority. Thus, by misrule, parents fix the eternal destiny of their children. By mismanagement they drive them to the enemy’s ranks, to serve the prince of darkness rather than the Prince of light.

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Such parents will have a fearful account to settle with God. In the great day of judgment He will ask them, «What have you done with My heritage? Where are the children I entrusted to your care?» Then with terrible distinctness the parents will see that their neglect has not only proved the ruin of their children, but of themselves, and that the wrong traits of character they cherished have been transmitted from parent to child to the third and fourth generation. The seeds which have been sown have produced a harvest they will not care to garner. The course of action which confirmed the children in irreligious practices has reacted upon themselves, making their influence a curse instead of a blessing.

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Educate for the Master The family should be a school where the father and mother, under the control of Christ, seek to educate their children for the Master. They should not try to evade the responsibilities of this work. They should not give their time to visiting, to the entertainment of visitors, neglecting their children to do this. If parents neglect to teach their children to be useful and helpful, Satan takes them and instructs them in his school, and those who learn in this school show who has been their instructor.

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Parents lose much when they are only half converted. Of Abraham Christ said, «I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord.»

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By the combined influence of love and authority, Abraham was to rule his home. He was to walk before his household without hypocrisy or deception. He would do nothing to betray the truth. The rule for master and servant, parent and child, is obedience to the great standard of righteousness. But how few bring religion into the home life! Parents, what course are you pursuing? Are you acting on the theory that in things concerning the religious life your children shall be left free from restraint, that all you have to do is to counsel with them, and then leave them to do as they please? If so, you are neglecting your duty, neglecting the souls for whom God holds you responsible.— MS. 7, 1899 . —

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So great is the value of the human soul that Christ paid an infinite price for the redemption of the race. God gave His Son up to shame and reproach and to an ignominious death that man might have eternal life. In view of this, why are we not working more earnestly to save sinners? Why are we so indifferent, so careless? Where is our faith, where our works?— MS. 24, 1903 . —

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A Sacred Circle I have been shown that around every family there is a sacred circle, which should be kept unbroken. Within this circle no other person has a right to come.

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The husband and the wife should have confidence in each other. The wife should keep no secret from her husband and the husband should keep no secret from his wife. Neither should relate family secrets to others. The heart of the wife should be the grave for her husband’s faults and the heart of the husband should be the grave for his wife’s faults.

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Never should either husband or wife indulge in a joke at the expense of the other’s feelings. Never should either one in sport or in any other way complain to others concerning their companion; for frequently indulgence in foolish and what may apparently be harmless joking will eventually become habit, and may end in trial and possibly in estrangement.— MS. 21, 1902 . —

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Husband the Time The closing scenes of this earth’s history are near at hand. The unfulfilled predictions of the book of Revelation are soon to be fulfilled. This prophecy is now to be studied with diligence by the people of God, and should be clearly understood. It does not conceal the truth; it clearly forewarns, telling us what will be in the future.

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Our work now is to husband the time, the influence, and the means that God has given us, and to cooperate with the Lord at every step. We are to be true, courageous, and faithful. Unless we stand firmly and intelligently for the truth, there will be serious misconceptions, and the work that the Lord would have done will be left undone.

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Let us not be in any way deceived. Let us realize the weakness of humanity, and see where man fails in his self-sufficiency. We shall then be filled with a desire to be just what God desires us to be—pure, noble, sanctified. We shall hunger and thirst after the righteousness of Christ. To be like God will be the one desire of the soul.

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This is the desire that filled Enoch’s heart. And we read that he walked with God. He studied the character of God to a purpose. He did not mark out his own course, or set up his own will, as if he thought himself fully qualified to manage matters. He strove to conform himself to the divine likeness.

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The Lord calls upon our young people to enter our schools, and quickly fit themselves for service. In various places, outside of the cities, schools are to be established, where our youth can receive an education that will prepare them to go forth to do evangelical work and medical missionary work.— Letter 210, 1903 . —

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Why Men are Condemned The wrath of God is not declared against men merely because of the sins which they have committed, but for choosing to continue in a state of resistance, and, although they have light and knowledge, repeating their sins of the past. If they would submit, they would be pardoned; but they are determined not to yield. They defy God by their obstinacy. These souls have given themselves to Satan, and he controls them according to his will.— TM 74, 75 .